Some say you need to look back so you can see how far you’ve come, while others say that a rear-view mirror is so small because what’s behind you doesn’t matter. Honestly, your past is your past. Whether you’ve made it further than you thought, or you have yet to start moving, the common denominator in both situations is you are where you are. That leads me to the question I often ask myself, “Where am I?” To which, right now, my answer would be I’m two weeks removed from turning the dreaded 3-0, and if you’re reading this and you’re older than me, sorry I’m not sorry because I know you probably felt some type of comparable anxiety when your 30th birthday arrived. But, to be truthful, I am very excited to be 30! I mean, I used to think I knew it all (c’mon people...I know I’m not the only one). But now I know with age comes experience, and a lot more knowledge than I knew I was capable of harboring.
I’ve changed so much in the last couple years trying to no longer think as naive as I once did, and coming to a realization that I am in fact not invincible….well it just plain old sucks. These days I kick my mornings off with push-ups and ab exercises before I drink a glass of water in an attempt to rehydrate the brain. I try to make healthier eating decisions whenever possible because I still have those vices that will keep the sweets and beer industries booming for years to come. What can I say, I like to work hard, but I like to make sure I enjoy life too! (More on that in a later post.) Speaking of working hard, I own my own home, I recently paid off my car, and I pack my daughter’s lunch and my lunch almost every day just to save a few extra bucks. And, more and more I feel like I am coming in to my own where I work. When I was much younger, and by that I mean like 5 years ago, I was scared because I still thought of 30 as this holding cell where you would eventually have to board some scary aircraft en route to your monotonous final destination. As I have approached this moment more rapidly than I thought (does time just fly by when you have kids or what?) I realized that it’s not at all as scary as I made it out to be. And, I say this statement with the utmost confidence…I still have no idea what the hell I’m going to do with my life!
See, in actuality, my life is exactly like those two sayings I started this blog post with, ironic opposites that end up being irrelevant. Drake started from the bottom and he’s here, while my far more un-catchy, average song would have went, “started slightly ahead and I’m still about the same.” Not really the type of song they would bang in the clubs if you ask me. However, if collectively we were all a little more honest with ourselves, I truly feel like it would make this process a whole lot easier. Plus, I think we wouldn’t feel as alone as we sometimes do. Not to go off on a tangent (although this is my blog and I’m assuming I can do whatever I want) but we all read way too much in to Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, blah blah blah. I also don’t want to contradict myself because I love posting pictures of my daughter, family and friends, and me in cool outfits as much as the next social media savvy millennial, but if you want to know the truth here it is. You can’t be somebody you’re not and you can’t get hung up thinking, “Why am I not there?” or “How come (insert whatever you want) hasn’t happened to me yet?” It’s only right that I be honest with you, my audience: I absolutely love where I’m at in life, but sometimes I can’t stand it either. Does that make sense? I mean I am so grateful for everything I have…I would not want to be anywhere else, but at the same time I want more because I know that it’s out there for me!
I’m a fairly task/goal-oriented individual, but I had no idea what I thought I would be doing at 30 years old when I was younger. To be honest I didn’t even grasp the concept of how young, in the scheme of life, 30 really is. All I can think of though is that there’s no way this is what the Man upstairs had in store for me, there’s no way this can be it, right? How are we supposed to act like we are so content with the lives we have, yet still strive and feel like we want so much more? It’s undoubtedly one of the most exhausting things to think about. That, my friends, is where the mind comes in to play. See, my mind is the same thing that allows me to use my Lego Batman voice when I tuck my daughter in to bed, and also allows me to completely zone out on my drive to work and almost forget I have a kid in the car. Everyone has good days and bad days, we can only hope that the number of good days is a little bit bigger than those bad ones. What I want to do over these next few weeks and months is share with you how I am going to “look ahead” in all aspects of my life and gain control of my mind and how I think. Throughout the process I hope to make connections that will help or inspire you to take control of your mind as well. It’s one thing to think certain thoughts, and good or bad it’s a whole different ball game when you start to believe them. I’ve never done anything like this before in my life! I am going to share my thoughts, feelings, and experiences in hopes that ‘’thinking out loud” helps me become an even better person, and I would love for you to journey right along with me.
Absolute Power is a work in progress and will be until I can no longer learn and improve my own mind. As I’ve navigated through my 20s, I think what I’ve realized most is my strong need to create something. I mentioned before I have no clue what’s lies in the road ahead, but I do know my creative mind is raw and untapped. Not everyone is cut out to be an entrepreneur, the same way not every individual is meant to work the 9-5 grind. I think it’s important to stay in your lane, remain true to yourself, and do what you love. The reason I want to do this blog is because I love helping people. Deep down I feel like this could help someone, maybe even a couple people, become better versions of themselves, and I’m willing to do what I feel like God has called me to do. I don’t know where you stand from a religious perspective, but I am a firm believer that God has great things in store for me. And I truly believe that we, yes both you and me, have not seen our best days. You are more capable than you know, and together we are going to achieve so much more in these upcoming days, months, and years. The best part of all of this is that we are going to have the opportunity to do it together! I know I’m excited, I just hope you are too.